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Everything you need to know about a mansplainer (and how to deal with them)
Sarah Thomsen
Have you ever been in a conversation with someone and suddenly felt like you were being talked at rather than with them? You were giving your 2 cents on why the new Taylor Swift album is actually pretty good when your male friend starts mansplaining to you about how wrong you are? And how could you possibly not see it? Or when a man at work starts talking to you about how the new company policy will impact your work day, even though you already know all about it?
If you have, then you've been mansplained to. And it's not a fun experience. Chances are, you were the victim of a mansplainer.
Before delving deeper into why men feel this itch to explain, I mean, mansplain every fucking thing on this planet. Let us just putout there that this has nothing to do with feminism or whatever isle you sit on. It is toxic behavior that anyone can display, though it is commonly found in guys(not surprised there).
Who is a MANsplainer?
So what exactly is a mansplainer? The term was first coined by writer Rebecca Solnit in an essay back in 2008, but it has only gained traction in recent years. She defines it as "a man who explains something to a woman in a condescending, overconfident, and often inaccurate way."
The mansplainer is usually (but not always) a man again. Not surprised. Tbh we saw this coming- who feels the need to explain things to women that they either already know about or don't need to know about? And it's not just limited to conversations about work or politics – it can happen in any situation, whether you're talking about the latest episode of Game of Thrones or how to change a tire. Mansplainers have this itch to bombard us with advice or knowledge we didn't ask for in the first place. Like seriously, if I want to know THE BEST way to make a chart, I'll fucking Google.
And honestly, it gets better. You won't just find one mansplainer. They come in a variety and types. There's the guy who talks over you and doesn't let you get a word in edgewise. Then there's the guy who condescendingly explains things to you as if you're a child. And there's the guy who just flat-out doesn't believe that you know what you're talking about, no matter what evidence you have to the contrary. Chances are your husband or boyfriend has mansplained to you at least once – even if he doesn't realize it.
So why do men feel the need to mansplain? Well, you honestly could ask them yourself, but it is a high chance; that they won't tell the truth and instead will make it all about YOU. How you are the one who has a BIG inflated ego. So we did a little research on our own since we were not gonna get answers from them. There are a few possible explanations. First, there's the fact that men are socialized to believe that they're the experts on everything. Like they are experts in everything. From an early age, boys are taught that they need to be the ones in charge and that it's their job to fix things and protect those who are weaker. This often leads to men feeling like they need to be the ones in charge of any situation and that it's their responsibility to explain things to those who don't know as much as they do.
Another explanation is that mansplaining is a way for men to assert their dominance over women. By explaining things to women in a condescending or belittling way, men are able to put themselves in a position of power and control. This is especially true in situations where men feel like they're the experts and women are the beginners.
While this is so annoying and gutful in some situations, mansplaining doesn't always come from a place of malice – sometimes, it's just a result of years of social conditioning. Men are often raised to believe that they're the experts on everything and that it's their duty to share their knowledge with others. This sense of entitlement can lead them to believe that they know better than anyone else, even when they don't.
Mansplainers and Workplace:
You'll find mansplainers in abundance everywhere, but they are especially found in a huge number is workplaces. Imagine being in a meeting, and your boss starts mansplaining the new project to you, even though you already know all about it. Or when a male colleague starts talking to you about how he should be the one in charge of the project because he knows more about it than you do. It's frustrating, belittling, and can make you feel like you
Women face such situations in offices every day. If you're dealing with a mansplainer at work, the best thing you can do is to keep calm and assert yourself. Remain confident in yourself. If they manterrupt you or try to talk over you, interrupt and tell them it's downright rude. If he's being condescending, call him out on it. And if he's just flat-out wrong, don't hesitate to correct him.
Remember when Kanye west snatched the mic from Taylor Swift when she won an award at the VMAs and famously said," Imma let you finish"? Or when your male friends interrupted you to finish your own story? In the 2016 presidential debate, Donald Trump interrupted Hilary Clinton 51 freaking times. All of these are examples of mansplaining: when a man condescendingly explains something to a woman without being asked, and often without knowing what he's talking about.
Here's what science has to say. University of California's study found that males interrupted their female counterpart's conversation 47 times. Out of 48. Let that sink in.
Dealing with a mansplainer can be frustrating and infuriating, but there are a few things you can do to diffuse the situation. First, remain calm and confident. Mansplainers love nothing more than getting arise out of their victims, so don't give them the satisfaction. Second, assert yourself and don't hesitate to correct the mansplainer if he's wrong. And finally, be prepared with the facts before you enter into a conversation with a known mansplainer. This way, you'll be able to shut him down quickly and effectively.
Conclusion:
The idea that men are always more knowledgeable and experienced than women is false and that women don't need men to explain things to them. I mean, Men tend to talk more in gatherings, disrupt more frequently, dominate conversations, and give less room to women, according to studies. Men will disrupt conversations with women three times more than they would disrupt each other, according to research. The same study found that men were more prone to speak over women in discussions in an assertive, domineering style that kept the rest of the group silent.
It is high time women stand up for them and call out mansplainers whenever they encounter one. Kamala Harris did just that when a male reporter interrupted her during a press conference. She did the same when former vice president Pence interrupted her during a speech.
So the next time a mansplainer tries to mansplain to you, talk Ten times more forcefully than him. Let your voice BOOM in the room.
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